"Emma!" We said, simultaneously.~~~~~"Jenna! I can't change back," I exclaimed."What do you mean?" she asked."I am trying to change, and I can't," I repeated, rubbing my temples."Love, just give it more time. You did say way back then, that it washarder to change back when you were with Scott all the time right?" Yeah, but not impossible." You've done 10 months as Maya, you had a baby. Maybe it will take longer." What if I'm stuck!?" I asked with trepidation."Then you'd better hit the gym," Jenna joked."This is serious. What about us? My life? Raising our children in a nuclearfamily? What have I done?" I looked at my hands, which I balled up."Love, calm down. The kids are going to sense that energy," Jenna urged."I'm sorry. I've been a mess since this whole thing started." I hadn't feltany better since I'd given birth to Emma. Initially, I breastfed her forabout a week, which was awesome, and made me feel special, like what a momprobably feels. I gave that duty to Jenna, so that she. He asked me for what I have beengiven it. I answered back, that I was not in a position to tell. Herespected that. He asked if I wanted another drink on him. I declined,but said that he could acompany me on a little walk out, for some freshair. He would love that he said. I put my uniformjacket on, and we wentout.He was very polite, offering me his arm, I accepted. His name wasKenneth, 24 years old, he was at destoyers, asked me my job at Navy. Icould not tell him, I explained. He, very politely, didn?t persued thesubject any more.We passed by a pub, and he invited me inside for a nightcab. I accepted,but only one, I said. He was funny, we had a good time at the pub, hemeet some fellowofficers from his ship who also had girlcompany, oneother in uniform, we all laughted at lot, singing songs. I was fellingfine and happy, I was with normal people, I was a girl, and I liked it.But one of the girls where a prostitute, and I could suddenly see myselfagain.I got sad, and Kenneth could see.
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